Today

i was listening Davi Rymsey's talk show about how to get out financial debt. I have some and working on to payback in each month. I think if I try harder, I feel I can recover soon. Actually i didn't have proper financial education so it is very good for me to plan for future and feel more stable.
Yesterday Wes very emotional because of my current situation and also Christina's concern about me and her future. I totally get it and same time I cannot force myself. But I can be much better for future. Steady and slow and keep going where light resides.

Feel very calm now and enjoying this silence now.

Movies, books, informations, work, movement, understanding and relationship, old, past my emotions with Kathy and also future plans with Christina

And things are going and running.

I enjoy conversations with young people. Their heart is healthy and beatific. I always inspired by people's passion and enthusiasm for their directions and study. And sometimes I ask questions to myself. So well...where I am heading? Bright future or whatever work ideas. I have lived many years for my own adventure and discoveries and now i feel I need to save and stabilize my life. So that I can live life with no worries and anxiety.  Money cause many problem for me and even change my direction for in some situations. I think I am done with it. I want to feel more free and liberations. I think I will work toward, step by step. I have emergency money saved up, so I need to work on kill my credit card debt one by one. So I will be very proud of my self.

Perhaps if is sign that I am doing well and need to see each month how I am improving.

Enjoy my day off..educate my self.

Life flows

There is a body and my mind, there is space around me and keep changing in every moments.
Every single day we wake up, eat, breathe, goes to work and thinking comes and goes, emotions are arising and passing again, experience life and feel love, kindness and gratitude from time to time.

Sometimes soaking into comfort, pleasure and seek sublime beauty and my eyes becomes bigger and brighter..life changing and am trying to adapt in given time and situations.

My mind seek for refuge in beauty and love but also not stable as rock.
constantly changing, so I need to go with it.

Feel attached but need to learn and more detached and same time my mind wonder, then where I need to be, where I need to explore and how much I need to go deeper into life.

new discoveries here and their makes my mind excited and vibrate a little bit. but I like to go deep. Perhaps I enhance my experience with other substitute.
I used to give meaning to many  things but I am losing that romantic personality.

Perhaps I think that I got all those secrets and pretend that I know something. Is it true ?
Perhaps I know how I can get pleasure from here and there.

The meaning comes from when we feel really food through good deeds or some other stuff when I like to do such as travelling, yoga, walking.

Relax my body and embrace dynamic energy when I create my own energy.
feels so good and can feel the groove and flow.

One more day to work and will have break, something exciting ? hike perhaps..yoga, movies and waking in the forest and meditate. study for how to increase my finances.

\Dreaming and I need more dreaming for makes me feel alive.
I will dream Hawaii with Christina or I will dream Mexico for Pyramid and white sand beach.
or Safari in Africa, backpacking in Europe. Create dream project, perhaps thats sounds good and financial goals and saving for better and stable future.

Looking, observing and I am here again, I think It will be back sometime to write my thought.

Resting,