Gap

came back from Swizerland and it was very amazing and inspirational time with me because I always dreamed about Swizerland and like to Visit Karen and do hiking. I saw very beautiful mountains and met different friends and explored many different city.

Now I came back and in Christa's house.
I wam very happy to see her and same time I was so excited to share what I bought and also my journey when I was in Swizerland. But it seems like many things going on in her world. First, she is in process of transition of her work and consume her.

Feels stuck for her.

Another one is that she enjoys the hanging out with different man. Because different individual reflect different quality within her and seems like is amused by this process. Same time it makes it sense that if she think about her future, she need to think about best candidates for her and her life. I am the person who goes with flow and get best of where I am and who I am with.

The matter is not what I don't understand about her. The matter is that I love her very much. Many different thought arises and she is the person who makes my inner boy alive and felt very free in many different level. I think she feel her role with done with me and go my own path. So it allows for her to seek more possibilities for her life and bright future. I totally understand and same time my heart feel in very watery. I met the person makes me so alive and I need to let her go because I care about her, I hope that she discover her own happiness through her journey.  My heart feel heavy and I wondering how I paddle more with bright face. Th truth is I don't like that fact I need to go away.

Very hard one. I can think because I did something to Kathy and that's why i
This one is comming to me ? Blessing and pain together. The life offers such blessing and pain. And sorrows. Because things are changing and we cannot hold it because everything goes its own.

The matter is that she gave her energy to different ones and equally she enjoyed it, when she comes to me, she try to be present with me its own but she carries with that her energy. Perhaps it consume her and cause the psychological conflict within her and she cannot see her whole picture with me because she feel shame and guilt over what happened with me Kathy. So it makes it sense to her to go out different boys. I feel that she loves me very much but it consume her because about her parents and how other one will judge her. So the way how she value thing is not cooperating with current situations. I lover her very much and also care about deeply. I feel I need to let her go and be her as her and same time I know she needs me for now. If she enjoy her boys with just friendship, it will not cause deep conflict in her but seems like it does. If I go, what will happen. She will be alright ? Will I be alright ? Passion, love, sorrow, jealousy, human heart, emotions, thinking, psychology, interest, chemical, intentions, future plan, synchronicity, magic, amazing future and all those things swim around and living his great drama of life. This is where I am and see how it will unfold.

Preparing...

I don't know, neti, nets, Neto

Early morning, 4:24 am,9/15/2016